MRI and MS

I know lots of people write about their health issues on facebook; I don't. I suppose I've dropped hints here and there, but my dark sense of humor probably leaves people with the impression I'm exaggerating or a hypochondriac. Actually, I'm both. Lol.

Today I'm going in for an MRI and even if I don't have late onset MS, my health has been declining for about six years. My speech was the first thing to give me obvious problems, but the funny (bad choice of words) thing about MS, if it is MS, is that it's really sneaky. My sister was diagnosed (if memory serves) in her late 30's, but she had a variety of symptoms and MS was harder to diagnose back then. I remember the day she got out of bed and her legs gave out, and so began her lengthy diagnostic nightmare.

The other day, facebook reminded me of my last trip to Oregon five years ago. I went to see my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughters. Now, for someone who for most of her life swore she'd never set foot on a plane, I'd grown kind of fond of flying by then. But that trip was miserable. I live in Ohio, and that was the trip when I discovered sitting for hours made it almost impossible to stand up. So I got to my motel and we were having such a good time. My eldest granddaughter, Suzi, spent the night with me. We binged on Spongebob. Anyway, the next morning the rest of the family came to my room and we were going to do various fun stuff. At one point, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, if the bed hadn't been there, I would've landed on my face on the floor. Tim went and bought me forearm crutches and the rest of the trip went fairly well. But with that facebook memory, I thought of my sister and her fall and began reading up on MS.

The problem with late onset MS is that the symptoms are oftentimes considered typical of the growing old process. But I'm only 68 and there are people who run marathons when they're in their 80's! Not that I've ever wanted to run a marathon. But I'll tell you; if I could regain the use of my legs, I'd start running. I dream about running. In my dreams, I'm all healthy, then I wake up and, well, it's depressing. And while I KNOW there are people whose quality of life is worse than mine, I admit, I've occasionally (momentarily) felt that my life isn't worth living anymore.

So, today is my MRI, and there are brain stem markers that apparently make it easier these days to diagnose MS. And, as my aunt reminded me, there are better meds these days than existed for my sister. Now I'm going to be embarrassed and relieved if I don't have MS, and there are some other miserable possibilities, but hopefully what I've written might help someone with my symptoms get a diagnosis. Don't keep going to your doctor's appointment saying you're 'fine' when you're not. That's what I did.

Gosh, it's been years. Lots of things have changed, and not for the better.

I've created a fundraising campaign on Fundraizr. I wrote the short version of why I've gone begging in the campaign message, but I need to say more.

My health has been on a steady decline for several years now and next week I go in for another MRI; I'm suspecting late onset MS, which is the disease that killed my sister. I'm doing my best to remain positive, and will be going to various therapies and treatments, no matter what the diagnosis. What I haven't shared publicly is that I've nearly lost all ability to walk and my speech problem is more tiring than ever.

Ron and I have never been outrageously successful, but we try. We're both pushing 70 and working is harder for him and impossible for me. We are facing upcoming expenses with very limited funds, including a car that might transport a wheelchair, if I can afford one.

The only thing I can think of to supplement our income is a book I self-published online several years ago. I'm hoping to work with a professional company (Bookbaby) to get an overhaul and promotion. It'll cost a few thousand dollars, but the reason my campaign is asking for more is the need for the aforementioned items. Items! Lol. Sounds trivial. Huge items.

Now, you have to know how much I HATE going begging; I wasn't raised that way. So I'd like to promise (to Carol, especially, for helping me in the past) that should my book become a moneymaker, I will do everything in my power to repay my donors, or at least send them copies of my book.

So, that's the story. Feel free to ask me anything. I'm an open book.